All the FMLs

Dragging of feet

By Lenore - 18/07/2026 03:00 - Belgium

Today, I googled which documents we needed to provide to sell our marital home. It took me three minutes and I have to complete list. My ex-husband, who's been complaining we have to sell as soon as possible, is ignoring the list, because he bought a book on houses, and wants to read it first. He hasn't read a book in 15 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46

You deserved it 3

Geezer

By Matt - 18/07/2026 00:00 - United States - Wilmington

Today, I went out to eat with some friends. I ordered a cocktail with my meal. I got carded, but had left my ID at home. Instead, I took my hat off to show that I'm bald. It worked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 90

You deserved it 26

Findom

By fucking bastard - 17/07/2026 22:00 - United States - Newport News

Today, my husband got paid. I checked our bank account and was shocked to see we'd only received $300. I called him, insisting that there was some mistake. He said he'd started a new bank account in his name so he could manage our money on his own, and the $300 was my "allowance". I now want a divorce. FML

I agree, your life sucks 143

You deserved it 101

Many such cases!

By Dementia?? - 17/07/2026 20:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I walked into a room and completely forgot why I was there. I then left, remembered why, walked back in, and immediately forgot again. I'm beginning to wonder if I need to undergo cognitive tests or something. FML

I agree, your life sucks 107

You deserved it 31

Resting bitch face

By Emily - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I had to explain to this really intimidating girl that I wasn't giving her a dirty look, and that it was just my face at rest. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 536

You deserved it 3 037

Creeper

By Anonymous - 17/07/2026 15:00 - United States - Dallas

Today, I accidentally liked a social media post from 2017 while scrolling through someone's profile. I panicked and blocked him. Then I remembered that blocking him wouldn't stop the notification from being seen, so I just shut my phone off and unsuccessfully tried to convince myself that it never happened. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38

You deserved it 186

Brain melting

By drunk n high - 17/07/2026 12:00 - United States - Reno

Today, while stumbling drunkenly down a trail, I saw a sign that said "Watch for Falling Rocks." I spent the next five minutes confused and wondering how I was supposed to know which rocks were planning to fall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23

You deserved it 242

Ripped

By Anonymous - 17/07/2026 09:00 - United States

Today, I’m sick and tired of women disrespecting my relationship. They come up and openly flirt with my man right in front of me, because no one thinks we’re together. I know it’s because he’s ripped like a Greek god while I’m 300lbs. He loves me as I am, I just wish other people would get it too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 249

You deserved it 129

One big happy family

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - Singapore

Today, my grandfather was counting all the grandchildren he had and saying how fortunate he was to have all of us. When I pointed out that he'd forgotten to count me, he turned and said, "You're adopted, you don't count as a real grandchild." FML

I agree, your life sucks 93 644

You deserved it 4 567

Trash

By Jimmy044 - 17/07/2026 03:00 - Australia - Adelaide

Today, I got myself locked out of my apartment whilst taking the trash out. I was wearing pyjamas, holding a banana, and I'd left my phone inside. My neighbours learned a lot about me, seeing as no one recognised me and I had to explain that I actually live in the building. FML

I agree, your life sucks 124

You deserved it 138

Make it stop

By Anonymous - 17/07/2026 00:00 - United States - Leominster

Today, it sucks so bad because I have fibromyalgia, which is a chronic pain there is no cure for. Right now I hurt so bad that I want to go to the hospital to stop the pain, but they won’t do anything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 244

You deserved it 41

No fun allowed

By Annie S. - 16/07/2026 22:00 - United States - New York

Today, my boyfriend and toddler little sister were happily being silly, with each other going "WHOA!!!" and acting like they were being blown around by a huge gust of wind… every time, right after I'd sneezed, which I have been doing all morning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 195

You deserved it 84

Some mysteries remain unsolved

By Anonymous - 16/07/2026 20:00 - Canada - Windsor

Today, I picked up a receipt in a parking lot and noticed someone had spent $437 on decorative gourds. My entire day was ruined by questions that would never be answered. FML

I agree, your life sucks 71

You deserved it 240

Red tape

By BLAH - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - Philippines

Today, after finally returning to my house after over a year overseas, I found that my neighbours built a wall covering the only window in my bedroom. Not only is my room eternally musty and pitch black, but the council won't accept my complaint, because apparently my window was illegally built. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 896

You deserved it 2 413

Distraction free

By Anonymous - 16/07/2026 15:00 - France - Paris

Today, I bought noise-canceling headphones to block out distractions while working from home. They worked so well that I missed the doorbell, three phone calls, and a fire drill in my building. FML

I agree, your life sucks 194

You deserved it 106

Drama!

By Loveless - 16/07/2026 12:00 - Singapore - Singapore

Today, I went on a date with the girl of my dreams. Her boyfriend, who she said she'd broken up with, was at the same restaurant with another girl. She screamed at him for ten minutes, then they started making out, and left together. The girl he was with looked at me and said "Eww", then went to hit on another guy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 348

You deserved it 69

A very good boy

By Carrie - 16/07/2026 09:00 - United States

Today, I waved at a dog through a car window because it looked pleased to see me. The dog wasn't looking at me. Its owner thought I was waving at him and got out to have a conversation. We talked for ten awkward minutes because he thought I was hitting on him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 105

You deserved it 227

Sign this!

By Stairs? Noooooo - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United States - San Leandro

Today, I was signing with my deaf brother at a local McDonald's. We were having a laugh about a game we played last night when this morbidly obese woman waddled over to us. She was utterly convinced we were "talking shit" about her and made a scene about our "hand gestures." Seriously? FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 535

You deserved it 1 583

Betrayed

By Bitches - 16/07/2026 03:00 - Romania - Bucharest

Today, my girlfriend called me a "controlling, overbearing psychopath." What did I do? I found out her best friend is trying to persuade her to cheat on me and I demanded she cut her friend off. I'm better off single, I know, but it still hurts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 340

You deserved it 75

Don't make me choose

By Anonymous - 16/07/2026 00:00 - United States

Today, I finally cracked and told my boyfriend that if he didn't sign full custody of his evil, manipulative 3 year-old daughter to her mother, then I would leave. He picked me up and literally threw me outside his apartment, slamming the door in my face when I tried to run back inside. FML

I agree, your life sucks 67

You deserved it 1 116

Please stay!

By she CHEATED! she LIED! she's FULL OF SHIT! - 15/07/2026 22:00 - United States

Today, my girlfriend cried and begged me not to leave her, saying her "hickey" was a burn from a curling iron. That might be believable if it was one on her neck and not in four places on her tits and thighs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 420

You deserved it 42

The grift situation is insane

By Anonymous - 15/07/2026 20:00 - United States

Today, my daughter wants to forego college to embrace the whole “tradwife” bullshit. She doesn’t seem to understand that the videos she loves so much are as fake as anything else on the internet. These are people cosplaying as “traditional” while making millions off gullible idiots online. FML

I agree, your life sucks 332

You deserved it 93

Squits

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff - United States - Las Vegas

Today, my dad told me to knock it off with my "stupid gangster walk", saying it made me look like an idiot. I didn't have the balls to admit I'd sharted my pants and was awkwardly waddling to the bathroom to clean myself up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 070

You deserved it 2 344

I'll call you!

By Anonymous - 15/07/2026 15:00 - United States - Warren

Today, my smartphone fell out of my cargo shorts pocket onto the floor of my friend's car. I didn't even notice until he drove me home, where I noticed that the pocket was empty. FML

I agree, your life sucks 178

You deserved it 132

How could you?

By Anonymous - 15/07/2026 12:00 - United States

Today, I gathered all the evidence I needed to prove that my fiancé has been cheating on me. When I showed it to him, he looked at it, then looked me right in the eye and said, “So you did all this just to learn their names, cry, and stay with me anyway?” Sadly, he’s right. FML

I agree, your life sucks 76

You deserved it 594

Careful

By Anonymous - 15/07/2026 09:00 - United States - Thornton

Today, I was microwaving chicken noodle soup and these ones tend to explode a lot, so I tried so very very hard to watch it carefully. I was able to microwave it fully without it exploding but after I pulled it out of the microwave, I spilled half of it onto the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 158

You deserved it 202

Sunny day

By CasperTheFriendlyGhost - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff - United States - Los Angeles

Today, I was told to rub in my sunscreen because I looked like a ghost. I wasn't wearing any. I'm just that white. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 939

You deserved it 1 370

Settler setters

By Anonymous - 15/07/2026 00:00 - United States - Lady Lake

Today, my dogs have coordinated a T-formation as I lay down to sleep. Essentially cutting me off 80% of the bed. Too tired to fight, too annoyed to sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 108

You deserved it 290

Desperate times

By Melissa - 14/07/2026 22:00 - United States - San Diego

Today, I got a criminal record and a court date, all because I’m a single mom struggling to pay rent and feed my 3 kids, and I was desperate enough to trust a random man who told me to cash a fraudulent check. He dropped me off at the bank and ghosted me when I was being interrogated and booked by the cops. FML

I agree, your life sucks 137

You deserved it 517

Holy crap

By Anonymous - 14/07/2026 20:00 - United States

Today, I’m at my third ER visit in a week for an extremely painful ovarian cyst. The people next to me are reading aloud from a Christian Science book. I’m in hell. FML

I agree, your life sucks 358

You deserved it 82

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The Top

Today, my boyfriend and I got into a serious argument and he stormed out of the house mad. Why? I wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of his knob. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 414

You deserved it 17 974

Today, I was sitting on my balcony reading a book. My upstairs neighbors thought that would be a good time to water their flowers. I'm now drenched in water, as is my book. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 963

You deserved it 3 845

Today, I colored my hair. It was supposed to turn out blonde, but it became more a mix of red and brown and blonde patches. When I tried coloring everything back, a green tint was added. My hair is at the moment red, brown, blonde and green. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 259

You deserved it 38 323

Today, I accidentally scanned a customer’s item twice. Before I could take it off, she quickly leaned over the counter and coughed on me. Repeatedly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 154

You deserved it 194

Today, my son confessed to me that the reason he'd rather die single is because my husband and I are so toxic to each other, as we end up arguing over even petty things, yet we still refuse to divorce after 30 years. Therefore, we're to blame for "leaving him traumatized and terrified of marrying". He is 22. FML

I agree, your life sucks 205

You deserved it 2 207

Today, my wife is furious with me because I would rather our teenage son see a counselor instead of a psychiatrist. I want our son to learn healthy coping mechanisms for life, not just take pills to make everything go away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 346

You deserved it 446